My Diary Section: Book Reports
It´s not like I´m going to be anything when I grows up. My school grades are falling and I´m almost positive that I will have to take the grade 7 over again. That´s going to be fun, that will make Dad even more happy with his little girl. I just don´t know what to do! Nobody cares about me so why should I!! Chrissie October 10th 1999 Dear Diary, My house has turned into a was zone!! Ever since my 13th birthday, nothing has been the same. Whenever I return home from somewhere, Mom barricades herself in her bed room, and Dad prepares an attack. We never avoid each other´s territory, because that would mean victory for te other. Our regular routine is tossing a few verbal bombs at each other when our paths cross, and all this fighting ends with them labeling me as a sl**, and me calling them the worse parents! I´m sick and tired of all this, I think the best way out is for me to either to run away from this place, or take my away life and make everyone happy! It seems like the only logic way out of things! Chrissie October 12th 1999 Dear Diary, What a wicked party last night!! It was so much fun, there was nothing big that happened, just the same old stuff, drugs, booze and you know what!! The guys that were there were all over me, they seemed pretty happy when they all got what they wanted. I mush have slept with three guys last night. God, why do I have to be this way, why can´t I be like all the other girls, and get decent guys that what a relationship, not just sex?? I can´t do anything right, I wish everything was different!! Chrisse October 16th 1999 Dear Diary, You never guess what happened to me? It just made my life so much better, I just received a call from the hospital, and they told me that I am infected with the HIV virus. It all started with the first guy that I slept with Jamie Thomson. It only happened once, but then I kept doing it, more and more, except with everyone else. Nothing should make a difference to me know. Why shouldn´t I live up to all the names that my father calls me! I went to the hospital on Saturday, with my boyfriend Jesse, he came to give me moral support. We were both really scared, so I made up a false age and name It´s not that hard to do this, because I look much older than I really am. I really fooled the doctors when I said that I was Amy Jefferson, age 18! How could I have let myself… or let me father have so much control over my thoughts and actions. It´s all his fault!! I hate him, I´m going to die because of him. I wish he would have this cursive disease, not me. I´m only 13, I don´t want to die. It´s going to be so embarrassing having to phone all those guys, explaining to them that I have HIV´s and that they should go get tested. It is mine as well if I was dead!! I´m going to die anyway!! That´s it! I´m going to get this over and done with now. !! I´m going to do it tonight, and I´ll make it look like nothing happened. I´ll make it look like I ran away, when really I´m on he bottom of some cliff out side of town. They probably won´t even know that I´m missing, until someone finds my body. I hate my life all the hating is going to end tonight!! Lost, and confused Chrissie Chrissie
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